| Another thing I don't like about this Brin guy |
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| 12:54am 24/06/2005 |
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His Matrix article sounds exactly the fucking same as his Star Wars article and his Lord of the Rings article and his rather self-congratulatory the-movie-bombed-but-none-of-that-was-my-fault-read-my-book anyway article. He *can't talk about anything else*. It's *all* democracy and the Enlightenment and deconstructing the Campbellian Monomyth and bla bla bla. This even creeps into his stories. At last count of the stuff of his I've read, approximately 3/5 of everything has to be about why democratic egalitarianism is better than hero-worship. I'm not reading into it -- the story will have a long part where the characters actually *say this* explicitly and make a big goddamn deal out of it.
*sigh* Also he uses lots of exclamation points and really short sentences and is incapable of saying anything about movies other than "They're progressive" or "They're reactionary" and whether he liked the special effects.
*double sigh* In short he's everything I'm trying not to turn into. Part of my angry insistence on trying to avoid being politically pegged as anything, and talking about a whole bunch of random shit, and continually undermining my own attempts to be taken seriously, is to avoid having a website like David Brin's. |
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a forest trail... 3 strolls |
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| um... |
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| 03:29pm 01/08/2004 |
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mood:  good music: John Mellencamp - Jack and Diane
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... what's there to say, really?
I've more or less abandoned the idea of keeping up a regular online journal, and when I do have brief sporadic moments when I feel like I need to write something, I usually write it up on my Xanga--yes, I have joined the Xanga craze along with every other Asian in existence.
There's been a violent upheaval among my group of friends, and although I didn't particularly enjoy it, I can't say that I wish it never happened either--although now the scope of people whom I feel I can trust closely has shrank, I'm a lot closer to them, and I feel that I've grown and matured and I really have a feel for people now... not as if I don't remember the times when we were all together like a jeesh and wish, just a little, that things were like old times, but hey, we've moved on.
Flinchum and I have been organizing unoffical Cross Country practices--more like get-togethers than anything, as if anyone really runs all that much--and last Thursday I threw up for the first time after running. I ate too much previously and had tried to keep up with Flinchum (instead of slowing down to a jog when I *should've,* but eh), but... I lasted two years without vomiting, yay. ^_^
I've started looking at colleges and making note of those which are interesting to me. I know I want to do something with languages, and most likely dabble with music and science as well, so I've been looking for colleges which have decent programs in all three of those (there aren't that many). I'm still definitely applying for Swarthmore, although I'm not sure if I want make that my Early Decision or do Princeton instead, but Mom's decided that I can go and visit Arthur at Swarthmore some time in the fall. :D Believe it or not, I'm actually excited, as now I can finally meet the people at SWIL of whom Arthur talks about and/or probably talk about me and get a good look at Swarthmore (as last time I was there, I didn't really go walk around that much...). It'll be fun, although I'm betting that Arthur'll probably make me clean out his fridge, and I might have to clean out his room if I have any inclination to sleep there at all.
We got mailed our schedules and transcripts &c. last Thursday... I'm so excited about next year--well, more excited than I was last summer, anyway--I have band first period, in which I shall be SECTION LEADER, finally, and then Bible class with Westrup--he's supposed to be a good teacher, and I've heard good things about the junior Bible class. After that, I have both of my AP classes (AP US History and AP English Language) and then all three of my Honors classes (Honors Chemistry, Honors Advanced Math/Pre-Calc, and Honors Spanish 3). Whoo! It'll be tough, especially with clubs and two sports, but if Flinchum can do it, so can I. (There could be flaws in this argument pertaining to things such as, say, running five minute miles regularly and without dying, but otherwise I think I'm good.)
I'm also a little excited because Oliver's coming back tomorrow from Arizona :D I haven't seen him for a month!! Well, I mean, he was only in Arizona for a week, but before that he was in DC for two weeks and then he was at a church retreat for a few days and before *that* he was packing 'cause he's moving out of his house soon... so I haven't seen him for a while, but he'll be home SOON. ^_____^
So... there's not that much to say, really. I've grown a lot in the past few months, but I know that I've yet a long way to go until I'm ready to face the future--which is fast approaching. I mean, I turned sixteen just two weeks ago and this coming fall I'll be a junior, starting the second half of my high school career... the end is in sight, but I'm not afraid of it anymore.
Hold on to 16 as long as you can
Changes come around real soon, make us women and men.
Oh yeah, life goes on
Long after the thrill of living is gone
Oh yeah, they say life goes on
Long after the thrill of livin is gone... |
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a forest trail... 1 stroll |
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| *facepalms* |
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| 09:47pm 23/05/2004 |
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mood:  busy music: La Única - Juanes
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Okay, just as a way of explanation, "my" latest post was just my older brother ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) arctangent accidentally posting here again.
As you can probably tell by now, I've more or less abandoned Livejournal... too many old memories, too many "friends"-no-longer-friends, and the format's become so over-familiar now. o_o but yeah.
But I think I'm a happier person now... which is always a good thing. :) |
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a forest trail |
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| On the evolution of Garfield |
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| 05:40pm 22/05/2004 |
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See q10's latest update if you want to know what started this.
Garfield is a classic example of a character slowly selling out. There used to be real poignancy when they cut through Garfield's nasty, grasping exterior into his heart of gold, but then his heart of gold began to shine through constantly, and then became just a generic cartoony nice-guy heart of gold. It was the TV specials that really did this -- they had higher standards for character morality on TV cartoons then than they did for newspaper comic strip characters, and I guess Jim Davis couldn't resist the money. Every new set of strips he turned into a cartoon made Garfield nicer and fuzzier, especially since he kept getting asked to do them for holidays and he couldn't bear to bring out Garfield's bad side for Thanksgiving and Christmas.
It's a shame, because the older Garfield & Friends cartoons really do capture Garfield's character: an amoral, venal bastard who's only lovable because he so clearsightedly separates himself from the codependent, insipid nonsense that surrounds his world (Jon the bumbler, Odie the mindless sycophant, Nermal the effeminate love addict). But the warmheartedness of the holiday specials, which were the only time a lot of people saw Garfield, and the simple *dilution* of the merchandising (the Garfield caps and T-shirts and window ornaments things didn't really send any message, but that was the problem -- their *lack of a message* meant that Garfield's only relevant feature was his cuteness and cuddliness, which got emphasized) crept in and infected Garfield himself with the insipidity of the world he lived in. Garfield switched around from a powerful antihero and, indeed, villain, causer of problems and consternation to his hapless Everyman owner and would-be protagonist, Jon, to himself being a hapless hero of his own story. Part of Garfield's original genius was making Jon the quintessential decent guy who suffers trials and tribulations, but making us *mock* him and sympathize with the unemotional, detached and suprahuman, in a way divine Garfield who brings these trials on his head (and the comparison between Jon's slavish devotion to Garfield and the treatment of sacred animals, as principles of unharnessed and undefiled Nature, in ancient religion, is not lost in many of the earlier strips). The later TV specials and later long cartoon stories put Garfield in the unfamiliar situation of himself being a weak, decent fellow battling against an uncaring world, a theme that Jim Davis seems to warm to, leading to his putting Garfield and Jon on the *same* side and making them both "good guys" fighting a cruel world. A comforting story, but one we've heard all too often before, and thus startlingly uncompelling next to our guilty fantasies of being the cold and untouchable god, the old Garfield.
If you even look at the evolution of the way the character is drawn, he's actually become more cartoonish, more cutesy, and a lot younger and sprightlier-looking over time, the same characteristics that used to make him hate Nermal back when that character was around. Yet another example of a pure, nasty, *free and powerful* Nietzchean First Man (or, in this cast, First Cat) springing pure from a real-life animal inspiration through the young mind of a young, screw-'em-all cartoonist, devolving through the forces of mass-market commercialism into a bourgeois, nonthreatening, cuddly Last Cat. Jim Davis earned our love as the mouthpiece of the First Cat, the corpulent, all-devouring monster, the Shivan destroyer whom we outwardly loathe and inwardly wish to be. But he, weak as we are, ends up backing down and unable to write such stories; he attempts to replace them with Last Cat stories of a domesticated, tamed Garfield, taught compassion, mercy, loyalty and all the other virtues of civilization, but cannot keep up the pretense.
Notably, in these times, the nadir of Garfield, he's abandoned the attempt to take Garfield through heroic sagas to save the world and bring happiness to Jon. Perhaps consumed with self-loathing over the watered-down nature of Garfield, the gags in each strip focus on the humiliation of Jon and physical hijinks that harm Garfield. Unable to truly create a character who revels in pure egoism anymore, Davis can only ape it with mindless destruction that harms everyone, with no First Cat to be the divine arbitrator of it. Maybe by handing over control of his creation completely to others to create this movie he thinks he can get the old magic back, when the evolution of First to Last Cat meant something to the viewer, when it validated their hope that there was redeemability in the brute of their own id. But such sugary lies lose their flavor over time, and it is doubtful that this new movie can teach the old cat any new tricks.
(The monster that this comment evolved into owes a great deal in spirit to the critical analysis of the _Lethal Weapon_ series published in this semester's Spike, by John C. Williams. Read it if you haven't.) |
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a forest trail |
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| today today |
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| 04:27pm 11/04/2004 |
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mood: chipper music: Juanes - Un Día Normal
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Today was really great.
I got out of bed really late because my alarm clock has broken and I cannot afford a new one at the moment.
I feel sad, because Sarah and Britney are complete bitches. They told everyone I have an STD, just because I slept with both of their boyfriends on Saturday night.
I'm so angry. Paul is grounded. AGAIN! And I'm not allowed to see him. EVER. It's just NOT FAIR. I hate my mom and I wish she was dead. This wouldn't happen if I was allowed to live with dad.
Last night I had to finish my term paper on the history of pre-communist Russian society. I focussed on the needs of women. I think it's ok, but if I don't pass this I'll lose my scholarship.
I want to tell the world that I'm gay.
I am updating this journal for the first time in ages, because I've been in prison.
Today, I got a digital camera! Yes! Here's some photos of my girlfriend in the nude (but don't tell her that I've posted them here - she'll kill me! Har har.)
I want to say thanks to simon and Abbey and Dave and the other Simon for helping me on Saturday. You guys are the best. By the way, if you happen to find my wallet, keys or underwear, could you SMS me? Adrian has my number.
I went to the doctor yesterday, and he said I have bipolar disorder, and should stop smoking drugs.
You should all do this quiz! It's amazingly accurate. You just put in your name and birthday, and it will tell you what your favourite sexual position is.
That's enough for now. But I'll leave you with my favourite Buffy fan-fiction piece I wrote last year when I was in hospital.
Created with the Gregor's Semi-Automatic LiveJournal Updater™. Update your journal today!
(stolen from cherrysocks |
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a forest trail... 5 strolls |
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| um... yep! |
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| 10:45pm 17/03/2004 |
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mood:  bouncy music: Ni Yao de Ai - Meteor Garden
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So I've returned briefly for a quick quiz post.
If you want to know anything about my life... well. It's been going a lot better now :) :) :) I can hardly believe the 180 turn it's taken since the first week of February. And I'm so hopeful and optimistic; I still believe that this happiness can last.
( so, then, the quizzes. ) |
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a forest trail... 3 strolls |
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| sorry for the short post, but... time-restrictions. |
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| 12:52am 20/02/2004 |
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mood: complacent music: Crazy in Love - Snow Patrol (cover)
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The sound clarinet is the one of the most beautiful in the world. I love practicing it.
I am so screwed for Science Olympiad. I haven't studied at all, and it's in less than two weeks. @_@ Oh dear, I shall have to begin reading that Earth Science book... some day.
I watched Pirates of the Caribbean AGAIN yesterday. I can quote that entire movie by heart now! Wahoo! "Yo-ho, yo-ho, a pirate's life for me..."
Oliver = ninja. He freaked me out today by sitting down on the bench behind me without my noticing, and when I finally saw him I screamed, jumped, and fell into Allison. Darn people and their walking softly!
I want to play in the pit orchestra for Broadway Showcase again, but Track practice... *whines* And I'm afraid of what Coach Hogan might do if I skip practice for pit orchestra practice, especially since I'm skipping about half of the Saturday invitationals already for band. *sigh*
Speaking of band, the band and orchestra trip this year is to San Francisco. Wahoo! brammig and I are going to drop explosives from the hotel roof. :D I am so looking forward to it... well, maybe not the six-hour drive there and back part, but as for the others, yeah. :D :D :D
... yep. good night. |
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a forest trail... 6 strolls |
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| ahhh, to run! |
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| 07:07pm 12/02/2004 |
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mood: quixotic music: Your Song - Elton John
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Yep... a lot of post-worthy stuff has happened, although the huge majority of it will probably never be committed to Livejournal, but I thought that I'd post up this little thoughtful post for today.
I started Track practice today with a ton on my mind and a million little things skittering through my head, but you know what made me feel a lot better? Running an H around the school with Donna.
There's just something about distance running which automatically makes my mind relax. While I'm letting my legs settle down into their comfortable, well-known pace, I just... open my eyes. Open them to the clear electric blue of the endless sky above me, to the green grass stretched before me.
The campus was quiet today, much more quiet than a nearby park would be, and I feel safer when I'm running around school versus a park any day... but today it was beautiful. Nothing fancy, nothing better or worse than any other school I've ever seen... but today it was beautiful. You know, if you're quiet enough, you can hear the highway, and the rush of cars always makes me think of a busy river. The breeze was picking up, and the leaves whispered from their high points in the trees, and the moving air against my skin was welcome against the warm sun saturating me with its heat. The campus seemed a little odd without the usual throb of hundreds of student life, and something about it made me feel as if it was resting, waiting for humanity to come and fill the spaces on the grass, to gather under the wings of tree branches stretching out to the horizon.
All this while side-by-side with Donna, running in comfortable, contented, and secure silence.
It's small, random perfect moments like this which make me wonder how many I miss just because I'm too caught up with what's inside to notice the little things happening around me. |
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a forest trail |
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| blah blah blah |
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| 09:42am 01/02/2004 |
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So I've been feeling less than good lately, letting all my inner hatred and anger rise to the surface and bubble menacingly. At the moment I'm apathetic enough to write in Spanish, further reducing my possible readership level, but at the moment I don't really care. (And there's not really enough time to write that much anyway.)
( so I hate my life. ) |
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a forest trail |
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| hum dee dum dum |
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| 11:05pm 19/01/2004 |
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mood: content music: t.a.t.u. - Ya Tvoi Vrag
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Just a quick post about going-ons and such.
I've been going around downloading illegal MP3's... :X Bad me, bad bad bad! The RIAA is going to find enough reason to put me in jail now, I guess...
Supposedly, I'm writing that last position paper for Model UN... but Informational Security is a tough topic and I can't work on it when I don't feel like it. Or something. *shrugs*
Tomorrow should be a fairly interesting day. I have my Biology 2 exam first thing in the morning, which should be interesting, as I haven't studied a bit for it and possibly shall die because of said lack of studying. Ahhh! I'm going to die! *runs around*
I still have yet to organize a sort of folder for all my language notes... bah. Perhaps that's just a lost cause; I'll take a little notebook with me for that. Hmm...
brammig seems to have found his true calling as a metalworker. He's even made a pendant for himself out of zinc, which I shall finally get to see tomorrow some time. :D It's going to be awesome. I believe he's working on brass (zinc) knuckles right now, which should be something interesting to see.
Diablo II is slowly but surely sucking out my soul. I even drew a (mostly inaccurate) picture of Norbert's Barbarian on Sunday. Although I messed up on most of the small details (as Norbert was so happy to point to me), I think it was an overall good sketch, considering that it was done during the middle of a sermon at church. (Not to say that all sermons are boring, but I usually idly sketch while listening anyway.) Maybe I'll scan it in. *nodnod*
*hums idly while batting at flies which have appeared around her head* La! |
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a forest trail |
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| when you've found that special thing |
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| 11:54pm 18/01/2004 |
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mood: full music: Flying Without Wings - Westlife
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Hello, I have just come upstairs from watching both 10-8 (which makes me want to stay young forever) and Alias. It got me thinking--Alias, anyway--and don't hold your breath, it's not about anything important. I mean... hmm. A lot of these actors remind me of people I know. Like how Lauren looks like Kim R., and how every time I see Sydney I am strongly reminded of someone (I just don't remember who), and absolutely no one looks like Vaughn, which is, imho, a shame. Although his hair looks kind of like junior!Joe's... bwahah.
Most of today and yesterday was spent watching the FotR DVD which my dad "borrowed" from one of his friends, and the rest of the time was spent watching ABC Sunday night dramas while we were ripping and burning those DVDs. (I love using those two verbs like that.) Fellowship of the Ring... awesome. I think that my favorite part is the entire Moria visit, especially the culmination with the Balrog. This is probably true because after watching it for three times in a row, I began just skipping to that part over and over again.. I love DVD's.
We also began looking at the Special Features on that DVD.. unfortunately, it wasn't the Extended Edition, just the special Widescreen version (which is bad, as we don't have a widescreen and everyone looks emaciated on our TV). I loved watching all the little behind-the-screen specials, though, especially the parts where they showed those involved in the sets and props (and those poor people who always have to wear masks). My favorite bit was when they showed the jeweler (is there a special name for this profession?) who made the One Rings used in the movie. He was polishing a One Ring about the size of a saucer while bouncing around a little saying, in a vaguely British accent, "Well, I guess we could say that we made the rings in Lord of the Rings!" ... I just love it, for no real reason whatsoever.
Speaking of which, I found a few interviews at A Hobbit's Tale a while ago, and Dom's really interested me with the information that the cast of LotR went surfing often in New Zealand, and once Viggo "got stabbed in the eye with the surfboard during the Mines Of Moria shoot." Apparently, there are even some shots in Moria of Aragorn only from the side, as he had a gigantic black eye... oh wow, the humor. That and remembering that Cate Blanchett wore 70's glam boots under her elf robes gave me amusing thoughts while watching the movie... and the classic ZGI line, "Your sword's blowing glue!"
Zork Grand Inquisitor. I haven't played that in a while... hmm, maybe I should burn copies of it so that people can play it--but people can have NO excuse for not playing the best science fiction game ever, The Ur-Quan Masters. Fwiffo! <3
arctangent left for the plane this morning... poor him, he had to leave the house at 5:15 to catch his early early flight. We spent most of yesterday celebrating his birthday two weeks early, as he's going to be in Swarthmore during his 20th birthday, and turning 20 is a really big thing in China... it's sort of like turning 18 here, except that it's a little more cultural... yeah. So we went to Mimi's Cafe for lunch (my choice, because I'm tired of going to Chinese restaurants and Arthur wasn't going to choose *any* restaurant), gave him some gifts, and wrapped dumplings (potstickers? is that what you call them in English?) for dinner. Good bonding time all around, except that most of it was about WCIII multiplayer and wayy over my head.
brammig is insane. And his house is an alchemy shop.
Apparently, there was a party at smako's house yesterday, and Sadie Hawkins' on Friday night (yes, we have our Sadie's before most schools have their Winter Formal. At this rate, we'll be having prom in March). I missed both of them, knowing me, but I thought that it might be of note.
I can't think of much else to post about now... I'll probably be hit with inspiration later when I'm half-dead tomorrow writing a position paper, but ah, such is the way of the world. |
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a forest trail |
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| broken swords and shields and tears that never fall |
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| 10:23pm 13/01/2004 |
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mood: weird music: 7YearsBroken - djpretzel (Xenogears, OC Remix)
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Death to all! Bwahahahahahah!
In other news... not happy day. Well, mostly not happy day. I had to go to talk to the Evil Secretary Who Is Mrs. Auman (sp?) about that detention I got for a stupid, never before known school-rule. And then I had to go talk to Mr. Wunderley. And littleelf did not know that I had already talked to him, and so she sent me scurrying to his office during lunch. Sigh. Oh well, at least that's cleared up with now... still have DH-free record, whee, go me!
Band is fun. We are playing some of the most AWESOME songs ever--like the 1st Military Suite in Eb by Gustav Holst (did I get the name right???), and Abram's Pursuit, which has the most awesome first clarinet solos ever--not that I suddenly moved up from second to first part and play them; but first-clarinetist!Jeremy sits next to me now (as other-first!Vanessa is in DC for the week), and he gushes to me about it all the time. Jeremy quite awesome band buddy, really. :D
Well... we do have one not-fun song, which is "Sheep May Safely Graze" by J.S. Bach, and the main reason I dislike it is because it is so freaking slow and I end up taking breaths every measure or so--although that could say more about how I'm out of shape with playing the clarinet than anything else.
Speaking of being out of shape, I went running today. :D My cold/flu/thing has been getting a lot better, today was disgustingly warm for January (65 degrees or something?), so I even badgered my dad to cancel that doctor's appointment so I could go out for a jog. Yeah, it was fun... it's nice to get outside and run for the first time in a while, although I took it really easy because I'm still kind of sick and am very much out of shape. Hard to believe that track practice starts in two weeks... oh ugh I am going to die.
The week before exams is always review week, and therefore I have little to no real homework---just mostly forced studying for extra credit or something. Hmm. Um, yes.
In other news, we have a new format for position papers for Model UN. UGH. This is pure and utter insanity, as I have ranted with junior!Oliver with for about two hours now. For example, look at this: Paragraph headings should be ... numbered with bullets (please make the font easy to read for the Chairs). Numbered with bullets? What the heck?? Oi, I think I'm going to make Miss Vanderhart write another letter of complaint to them. UGH.
I have been feeling strangely discontent lately. I'm not sure exactly why... maybe because I was expecting more from my last week here... I know, I know, no one's confirmed this, and no one's told me anything, so it's probably best if I was going to stay here... especially after I spent all that time today tediously writing down spring events in my planner... sigh.
Oh, that reminds me, we got our spring semester schedules today:
1. C32 Crusader Band Vandenburg (Mr.)
2. Gym Lifetime Sports Fieldhouse (but I'm going to see if I can get this switched for a quarter of health--if only Mrs. Garcia was ever in her office...)
3. C31 Western Civ Rhodes (NOOO I DON'T WANT TO BE TAUGHT BY RHODES)
4. B20 Honors Algebra 2 Becksvoort
5. C28 Honors English 2 Brewer
6. B19 Bio 1 Tamminga (whee!)
7. B23 Spanish 2 Johnston (double whee!)
And here're my exams for the next week:
Tuesday: 8:30 - Bio 2
Wednesday: 8:30 - Bible; 1 PM - Honors English 2
Thursday: 10:30 - Honors Algebra 2
Friday: 8:30 - Western Civ; 1 PM - Spanish 2
You know what that means... exam schedule = extremely long study halls = time to work and concentrate on conlang! Whoo!! |
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a forest trail... 1 stroll |
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| and how about a random post with nothing to do with anything! |
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| 11:27pm 12/01/2004 |
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mood: crazy music: no kitty pants oh yeah!
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*steals something from arrantophelia* Some of the little things that that make me happy:
Sleeping in until noon. Classical music with my eyes closed. Strawberries, a good book, and the leather couch combined. A sunny day. A cloudy day. H's with Sadie in wet weather. Naps on Arthur's shoulder (and Norbert using me as a pillow) during long car rides. Talking in foreign languages. Yogurt when you have a sore throat. Movie marathons at Kym's house. Oliver's long stories during Spanish. Random trips to Jamba Juice. Hugs. Long conversations about random things and nothing at all. Weekends that sneak up on you. How water feels against your skin. Happy dreams. A smile in the hallway. Sunrises during the busride to meets. The presence of people that love you.
So... homework sucks, but at least I'm (mostly) caught up now. And I think I'll post up a few links because I like making Kelsee drool.
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif) rightclicklick is an addicting community, actually, although I can't guess at some of these girls' tastes. *shrug, nod*
We got the dates for the Band and Orchestra trip today!! March 26 to 29, Friday to Monday, whooo! I'm so excited, I'm so excited, wheeeeeeeeeeeee! I'm going to pack a camera and try to steal my dad's video camera and bring three bazillion CD's for the bus ride up to San Francisco and and and EXCITEMENT. *beams*
And now I should probably go to sleep so that I can... go to an MUN meeting early tomorrow, oh the great joy. Good night, one and all. |
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a forest trail... 1 stroll |
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awake
